The Growth We Choose For Ourselves

Why development becomes different when ownership begins?

Development happens constantly for the leaders I work alongside. Through coaching, leadership programs, mentoring, structured frameworks and formal learning opportunities, there is no shortage of investment in growth. Much of this work is thoughtful, well designed and genuinely valuable.

Yet something else happens quietly in the months that follow.

The growth that lasts is rarely the growth someone else prescribed. More often, it is the growth a person chose for themselves.

When someone decides what they want to focus on, the experience becomes different. The decision belongs to them. It reflects their timing, their circumstances and their understanding of what matters most in that moment. With that decision comes a level of ownership that cannot be assigned by a manager, a coach or a development program.

The part of growth no one else can define

Charles Manz, one of the pioneers of self-leadership research, describes self-leadership as the process of influencing and directing ourselves toward meaningful goals while managing the discipline required to achieve them.

What I have always found interesting about that idea is how personal growth truly is.

Every leader carries a unique set of experiences, challenges and aspirations. One person may be preparing for a difficult conversation. Another may be stepping into a larger leadership role. Someone else may be learning to lead through uncertainty or build greater confidence in their decision-making.

From the outside, these goals may not always be visible. Yet they shape where energy and attention naturally want to go.

No one understands that context more completely than the individual living it.

When people attach their own meaning

I was reminded of this recently while working with a leadership team that was preparing to deliver on a new set of strategic priorities.

On the surface, everyone appeared aligned. The priorities had been agreed and each leader could describe them using the same language.

As our conversations deepened, however, something interesting emerged.

While people were using the same words, they were not always attaching the same meaning to them.

Each leader was interpreting the priorities through the lens of their own role, responsibilities and experiences. What mattered most was not the wording itself. What mattered was the moment each person began translating those priorities into something personally meaningful for their part of the business.

That was when ownership emerged.

It was not because the priorities changed, but because the connection to them became personal.

A question worth sitting with

The leaders I have seen grow the most consistently are not always the ones with the most detailed development plans.

They are often the ones who have developed a strong sense of ownership over their own growth. They return to it repeatedly because it connects to something they genuinely care about improving.

That ownership becomes its own source of motivation.

As I have reflected on this recently, I keep returning to a simple question:

If you had complete freedom to shape the next stage of your own growth, what would you choose to focus on?

Most leaders already know the answer.

There is often something they have been thinking about for some time. A capability they want to strengthen. A habit they want to develop. A challenge they know they are ready to tackle.

In my experience, those answers are worth paying attention to.

Because the growth we choose for ourselves often becomes the growth that stays with us.